


Hootbucks™

by Anthony_is_tired



Series: Coffee and Bookclubs [1]
Category: Original Work, The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: (Also Enfield why are you like this), -Corvid, A few minor threats from me, Belos is a good guy, Belos is hot smh, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone has weird names but stfu thats just their discord tag, F/F, F/M, He also has hair and his mask is gone, I had fun writing this, Joke Fic, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pansexual Belos, Sarcasm is in the air, Swear Words, Theres also lumity but you have to wait for future chaps, dont come for me, ft. Garnet's discord server!, he has a scar on his eye though, i was bored, the book author used him as reference, the whole company is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26248918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anthony_is_tired/pseuds/Anthony_is_tired
Summary: Hootbucks is a totally original not copy of starbucks, the company is only starting out and the staff is struggling.But when a man who people know as Belos buys the whole company, Everyone doesn't know what to thinkTHIS IS A JOKE FIC, BUT I AM A BIG BELOS SIMP JSFBAHRIUER
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda (if you squint), Belos/OC, OC/OC
Series: Coffee and Bookclubs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906864
Comments: 11
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1: Hootbucks

**Author's Note:**

> Dont kill me, please. Read until the end to get the link to Hootbucks and meet the cast!

THIS IS MOSTLY A JOKE FIC. DON’T TAKE SERIOUSLY

Chapter 1: Hootbucks

“Staff meeting!”

A man in a gray hoodie yelled. He had a huge grin plastered on his face. He wore a hat which had a logo on it called “Hootbucks coffee”. He had white slicked back hair (which was slightly messy).

This man was the owner and manager of Hootbucks, a Cafe dedicated to the book series “The Owl House”, A book about a girl who was sent to summer camp due to her antics, but instead she accidentally tripped into the demon realm. 

He leaned on the wall as all the staff stared at him, All confused.

And in a zoom of light, He was spinning in an office chair in a conference room. The staff all started to occupy the seats. Then, the man stood up again. “Hello Staff and staff apprentices, Co-managers and sponsors! I'm Depresso Espresso, not my real name, and welcome to Hootbucks! We are totally original, not a copy of another brand, and Starbucks can burn to the ground!”

Some of the staff laughed at that

He continued “Now, as you may know, we already have the menu set up. Which by the way, are heavily inspired by the owl house! Unless you haven't notice. I mean seriously! We have a FrappEda drink! That's so obvious!” One of the co-managers nudged him “Right, I'm getting off-topic. Anyways, I called you all here to meet your colleagues!”

“Are you serious?”

One of the staff asked. He had blue hair, a bandage on his nose, and he wore the same hat as Depresso. Everyone in the room did, really

“Whatever do you mean, Sansan?”

Sansan, Or San for short. One of the first staff in hootbucks. He facepalmed so hard, Depresso swore he would have slapped his head off.

“Eric you oaf! Everyone here already knows each other! We all LITERALLY met from the same book club!”

“Calm down San San, not all of us met at the bookclub!” Another staff member said, this one being a girl. She also had blue hair and the cap everyone else is wearing.

“OH YEAH POPPY? NAME ONE PERSON WHO WASN'T FROM THE BOOK CLUB”

The latter placed hand on her chin, brows furrowing as she was deep in thought, before shrugging

“EXACTLY”

“Okay, we get your point, but calm down!”

SanSan sighed before putting his attention to Depresso

“Alright. SanSan does have a point, So let's just skip the pleasantries and get down to business.”

Depresso pulls out a projector from somewhere, nobody really knows where the man keeps his stuff. The lights are turned off as The manager starts his presentation.

“Now, Everything is perfect so far, we have our menu, our staff, even our amazing sponsors!”

He points at a group of people sitting somewhere near the front. One of them looks like a gun, Another looks like a mix of Luz Noceda and Amity Blight. while the other looks like a hexside student.

“Say hi guys!” He waves at one of them, the gun to be exact, and grins

The group waves (Don't ask how the gun did it) as they speak

“Im Ace.” The gun says 

“Im Mittens!” The hexside student followed

“And I'm Ashi” He does a two fingered salute

“Give a round of applause for them!”

A few of them start clapping, visibly annoying Depresso.

“I said CLAP YOU BUFFOONS”

And just like that everybody starts clapping. (All with strained smiles)  
“Anywho, the issue on the table….” He smacks the screen “PROPAGANDA”

The staff visibly groans while the sponsors are just confused

“I thought we already have a commercial?!” One of the Co-managers whined, She looked like the mc from a hat in time. Depresso sighed at the mention of their dreaded commercial

-FLASHBACK…-

“hOlY fUcK” Depresso nearly fell over his chair when Penut placed a stack of paperwork on his desk

“We need a commercial.”

“A WHAT?!”

Peanut sighed, before shaking her brother

“WE NEED A COMMERCIAL”

“I HEARD YOU ALREADY!” She gave him a look before letting him go

“But why the hell do we need a commercial?”

“Eric. You don't seriously expect people to just come to our cafe without knowing a single thing about what we sell?”

The man in question suddenly went quiet, Almost as if that was exactly what he thought. Peanut narrowed her eyes at him before rubbing her temples

“What am i ever going to do with you?”

Depresso let out a sheepish chuckle before staring at the pile of paper.

Yeah… he’ll just steal a starbucks commercial

-END OF FLASHBACK-

“Yeah… but i doubt anybody watched it.”

“I watched it!” Another staff member butted in, another girl

“Shut up em your opinion doesn't count in this!”

“Gee...ouch..just saying..o u c h”

“Anyways, we need a way to market this place. The sponsors help, they are a HUGE help, but sadly, we have no customers.”

“I wonder why.” SanSan makes sure the sarcasm is in her tone as she rolls her eyes 

Depresso glares at him before sighing

Today was gonna be a long day


	2. Chapter 2: The chapter where Em and Enfield/Kit joined in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see the book club! and Em and Kit are both pieces of shi-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this saved as Chaos on google docs.

**Chapter two: The Book Club**

[Three people were writing this, and since its a joke fic, you don't get to judge.

This is a messy chapter, but don't worry, the fluffy romantic stuff is coming soon.

Three people: Kit  
Em  
Eric]

Ah, It was a peaceful Saturday morning, birds were chirping, the sound of traffic blaring, and roommates yelling like it’s the end of the world, it’s all Depresso wanted and he was content with what he had. 

Nuzzling further into his pillow, he truly was in heaven.

“Wake your ass up, wake your ass up, bitch I'm up.”

Damn it, the alarm.

With a groan, Depresso reached for his phone which was still blasting that obnoxious TikTok song. He had no idea why that was his alarm sound, and maybe he really didn’t want to know.

He stared at the screen, slightly wincing at how bright it was, before reading the text under the alarm notification.

'OWL HOUSE BOOK CLUB? OWL HOUSE BOOK CLUB!'

'The book club? What book-'

Wait.

-Time skip brought to you by Amity’s left sock- ( **Uh Hi, I'm just fixing errors and stuff throughout the fic. - Corvid** )

Sansan was having a nice morning, he managed to get to the book club early, no surprise there. Considering the owners do favor him. Sipping a cup of coffee he had brought, he inhaled the smell of fresh coffee beans. Truly blissful, and the book club wasn’t being chaotic.

He wonders when this peaceful moment will end.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

There it is.

He didn't even bother turning around, instead choosing to sigh and picked out a book from one of the cases before speaking. “Hi, Depresso, Poppy.”

The two were covered in coffee stains. How? He’d rather not know. 

“WE’RE SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE! IT'S JUST THAT SOMEONE” Depresso sends a glare to someone at the doorway. “DECIDED PLATES AND COFFEE MUGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DIGESTED”

The person who was at the doorway then sighed, stepping forward and revealing herself, Penut poked her brother.

“Shut up, it was one time too! Besides, It’s not my fault I didn't know I couldn't eat glass.”

Depresso made a look, which honestly made him look more stupid.

“Why would you think you can swallow glass?”

Penut just shrugged.

“You never know, But i’ll call it an experiment for the most part.”

Then came a cough from behind them.

“Morning, Everyone.”

Ah, Ace is here.

“Hi, Ace” Depresso said sheepishly “Funny story, I know we aren't supposed to come here looking like this but-”

“It was Penut’s and Depresso’s fault, I'm not part of this!’ Poppy yelled, earning glares from the two.

“Can you not scream so loud?” Enfield came inside. “ I just woke up this morning and my ears are a bit sensitive right now.”

Poppy blurted out an apology, and Ace just shook his head.

“Let's all just take a seat before the librarians decide to kick us out.”

They all went to their usual spot and began their book club.

“I'm still crying over the fact Eda could’ve turned into stone.” Poppy whined, acting like she was crying. ( **Poppy seeds is weak - Corvid** )

“Yeah, well I'm still mad at Lilith!” One of the other members yelled, they didn't know all their names, there were a lot of them after all. 

“Should we Introduce ourselves before continuing?” Asked Enfield.

“Yeah, we should, especially since we have new members” Sansan added, looking up from his book.

“I suggest the ‘Leader’ should introduce themselves first,” Enfield said. And so, Ace nudged Garnet, who was peacefully reading in the corner.

“Hm? Oh! Right. Uhmm I'm Garnet, I'm the creator of this wonderful book club!” Garnet had brown hair reaching her shoulders.

"Hi guys, Eric is a simp, sup?" Em says while holding up a peace sign. " Sorry I’m a bit late."

“Shut it Em.” Enfield said, holding in a chuckle. Em just rolls her eyes and takes a seat, she was a girl with blue hair with a beanie and wearing a striped shirt and ripped jeans.

“Em where in titan’s name did you come from?” Depresso asked, clearly annoyed at the use of his real name.

"Outside." Em vaguely replies.

Enfield just rolls her eyes from the interactions of her friends. “Hello, I’m Enfield! You can call me Kit.”

"I kinda had to deal with a Karen though, so that sucks " Em said.

The group greeted Enfield. "Hi Kit."

“Well, I'm Ace.” He had a warm smile as he did a salute

"Heya Ace." The group said.

Enfield suddenly got a notification from her phone “Sorry guys, I have to take this outside.”

“Alright, my turn, I am THE HOTTEST MEMBER OF THIS GROUP, HI I AM DEPRESSO AND EM SUCKS!” ( **Why are you screaming inside of the library Depresso??? -Corvid** )

"Shut the fuck up Eric" Em replied.

“You’re a simp!” Enfield shouted to Eric from outside.

“Did someone say the hottest member of the group?” Someone called from the doorway.

There stood Mittens, in her Hexside uniform, she walked towards the group like she was going down a run-way. She sat next to Ace before glaring at Depresso.

“You dare challenge my title as hottest member?” Depresso audibly gulped. Yeah, he’s fucked. "Oooh." The group all said in unison. ( **idk im bad at this-Enfield, probably** ) ( **Why do you guys make so many mistakes -Corvid** )

“Anyways, are we doing introductions? Well I'm Mittens, the OG hottest member of the group”

Enfield came back inside. “Hey guys I’m back.” “What notification did ya get Kit?” Whispered Sansan. “Just my best friend reminding me to get her some stuff” Enfield whispered back.

"Simp." Em whispers something to Eric, which made the coffee-loving man pissed and they start fighting cause Eric is a simp, can't tell me otherwise. ( **EM WHAT THE FUCK-Eric** ) ( **ily/p -Em** ) ( **Can you guys pls stop -Enfield** )

“What happened here?” Asked Enfield. "Eric started it!"

“Guys can you please stop? You’re scaring the new members” Enfield pleaded. "Oop, sorry" Em said while glaring at Eric.

“This is what you have to deal with when joining this book club” Enfield stated, she is the only one who knows how to deal with these idiots.

"So, are we starting the meeting or what?" Asked Poppy.

“Hey you didn't introduce yourself! No fair!” Depresso pointed accusingly. Poppy rolled her eyes then said, "Fine fine. My name is Poppy," She looked at Eric. "Happy now?"

“Very.” A smug grin made way into his features.

"Do we really need to? We basically all know each other" Sansan asked.

“I mean there are new members here” Enfield said.

"ERIC!" Penut yelled "kindly start the meeting please?" She added. ( **You guys are still in a library -Corvid** ) "Yeah, we don't have all day." Enfield said. “I have to meet up with someone after this.” She added. “Let me think about it, hmm.” Depresso placed his hand under his chin. “How about… fuck you. Just go ask Garnet! Do I look like her? No! I'm not even a woman!”

"Eric, calm" Sansan said.

Penut gets a plate and eats it in front of Eric. "Fuck you as well, good luck buying new plates."

“Fucking son of a- PENUT!” 

The new members just watched, horrified at the exchange that was happening in front of them.

“Ugh… you’re all making me lose my brain cells” Depresso sighed.

“You cant lose something you don't have” Sansan butted in.

Everyone laughed. "Get rekt Eric!" Em said.

“Shut the fuck up, you simp for human cars.”

"Oooh you wanna fuck me so bad you look pathetic." "Also, HEY! It was Poppy not me" Em said defensively.

"GUYS!" Enfield yelled. "can everyone just shut up?"

"The meeting should’ve started an hour ago but the simps here won't shut up." Sansan said.

Garnet just stared at her members.

So this is what Depresso felt at work?

-To be continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God help us all.  
> (Edit: 9/4/2020 Please enjoy this chapter bc I just edited it and fixed the mistakes -Corvid) [Also please tell me if there is any mistakes!]


	3. Chapter 3:Where Corvid decided to join in the fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos Chaos chaos chaos hamilton references we all need therapy and Enfield and Depresso are not being subtle
> 
> Oh, and Gordon Ramsey is not a thing, we know only of Rordon Gamsey the librarian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Enfield here just doing this for a friend of mine :D
> 
> Fuck you, Enfield - Eric

**Chapter Three: A Normal Morning Between Co-Workers**  
**[Written by Enfield, Corvid oh and anybody else who wants to do this]**  
( **Am I a joke to u - Eric** ) ( **Yes you are <3 - Corvid**) 

* * *

After the book club, The staff of Hootbucks decided to go to work since they have a lot to prepare before they open the Cafe.

As they enter, Corvid is seen sitting on the counter. Motherfucker was earlier than usual.

“Heyyya Cor~” Enfield greeted Corvid, who seemed to be having a swell morning. That is until she greeted him.

“I swear to god Enfield, I will skin you alive.” He replied.

“What~ I’m just greeting my favorite person~”

“Oh so we're doing greetings for our favorites? Well then… **SANSAN MY SON HELLO!** ” He greeted Sansan as he walked in. “Hey Corvid!”

“Wha- Hey That’s just mean.” She pouted.

“Deal with it then.”

"Can you not right now?" Depresso breathed out, he looked like he wanted to strangle someone at the moment.

“Fine, just keep that feral thing away from me.” He said, pointing at Enfield.

"I swear, you idiots will be the death of me." Depresso proceeded to make himself a cup of coffee, again.

“I mean I can arrange your death if you want.” He replied to the manager of the Cafe.

"Haha, don't touch me."

"Hey, we could. Corvid is a plague doctor, if you wanna die, step forward." Enfield added nonchalantly.

"Don't make me pour this coffee on you."

"Anyways, the grand opening is happening in a few days." Depresso set his mug down. "And we still need a way to advertise this hell hole."

“I had to calm your ass cause you were panicking and blaming me for ‘panicking.’“ Enfield muttered.

"Shut up or I'm calling Poppy on you again." Enfield just pouted at his reply.

Poppy entered the building, eavesdropping on the conversation on her way in.

"Tsk.. You guys are literally acting like children." **(Shut it poppy seeds. - Corvid)**

“What if we get a local library to advertise for us? Like they could just tell people that we have great coffee and students study a lot there so they might need something to energize them...or..do it for the aesthetic." Corvid suggested to Depresso.

"Well, that could work, but what profit would the library get? I doubt they'd do it for no reason"

“What if we could split the money once we get enough? Like uh 2/12 of the money to them?”

“Or maybe they get 10 percent of the money-” Enfield blurted out.

"I am not sharing money with that bitter librarian!" Sansan suddenly shouted. "That man glares at me everytime I enter the library just because I forgot to return one book, ONE!"

"I don't know, I like Rordon Gamsey, best librarian ever" Depresso said with a smug grin. **(Gordon Ramsey who? -Eric) (Stfu Eric - Enfield)**

"That's because he helped you make that stupid Rordon Gamsey talks dirty audio, I am mortified!" Em, who just entered the kitchen, whined.

“That still haunts me to this day” Enfield added, slightly trembling.

"Did someone say that dang audio name again?" Ýůmî, otherwise known as Sad Tea, also entered the kitchen. "I couldn't breathe when Depresso played it on speaker, I think I still need surgery for my lungs."

Depresso Rolled his eyes at them, looking smug, until Enfield remembered something. “Sooo…. Eric, Heard there was a rumour of you simping for Belos~”

Depresso seemingly chokes on air.

"Did somebody say simp?" Poppy asked.

“Where did you hear that??” Depresso asked, still recovering from choking.

"Word goes around"

"Yeah.. Uhm.. I met him at the library, turns out the book author of The Owl House is inspired by him, so she made Belos The Emperor in the book. And.. How could I not simp? Have you seen his blonde hair?"

“I mean I haven’t met him yet but I’ve heard of him” Enfield stated.  
“And you failed the No simp September.” She added.

“You failed it too!” SanSan yelled from wherever he was

Enfield chuckled nervously “I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

As the two tease each other, Depresso sits on the counter, staring at his coffee, thinking about a certain blondie. 'I wonder when I'll see him again,' he thinks.

“Ooooh, I think someone is thinking about a certain blonde~”

Depresso glared at Enfield. But slightly surprised at how accurate that was.

Enfield just laughed as Depresso glared at her.

"No, I am not thinking about him. Just… business."

“Sure you are,” SanSan said.

"Wow I didn't know blonde males are a business now, where can I apply?" Ýůmî teased.

Depresso visibly went red "Shut it!"

“Oooh someone’s flustered~”

"I am not! I just forgot to wear sunscreen today."

"... Depresso we're inside a building" Sansan pointed out.

Enfield just continued laughing at the excuses Depresso was making up. This would've gone on for hours, if it weren't for the sponsors showing up

"Sorry we're late" Trashcan, Garnet's s/o said "We were cleaning up at the library because of a certain someone.." she glared at Penut who was in the middle of swallowing a plate.

"What? If I can eat plates, I certainly must try eating books." She shot back, almost as if it were obvious, earning a look of disgust from Trashcan.

"Well, what did we miss?" Ashi asked.

**-Idiots speaking intermission-**  
**(SO WHAT DID I MISS? -Corvid) (HEADFIRST INTO A POLITICAL ABYSS - Eric) (Not Much - Enfield) (That was a Hamilton reference you dense cabbage -Corvid) (Oh, didn’t realize that -Enfield) (It’s fine but the next time you don’t recognize it I’m skinning you :) -Corvid) (Or you could shoot her right between her ribs, and you'd walk towards her but you are ushered away, and they row her back across the Hudson, while you get a drink - Eric) (Great idea but that’s for later -Corvid)**  
**-intermission over-**

"Oh we were in the middle of teasing Depresso about his crus-"

"WOW! WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME? WE SHOULD PROBABLY START PLANNING HOW TO ADVERTISE THIS PLACE!" Depresso suddenly went on his feet, and ran towards the conference room.  
Enfield felt a bit annoyed that Depresso decided to cut her off.

So there they all were, piled up in the conference room, listening to Depresso in silence, only talking when they don't agree.

-Time skip brought to you by Enfield annoying the shit out of Corvid- **(I love this line - Enfield) (Same -Corvid)**

"And that's why we are banning speakers from here."

"Wait I thought we were talking about advertising?" Penut asked, dumbfounded.

Enfield just listened to them talking, she seems to be thinking about something.

"All I got from that was the words 'Rordon talks dirty.’" Ace tilted his head at what she just said.

"NO!" Em, Enfield, and Ýůmî all yelled at once. "NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN."

“I still get nightmares from that” Enfield shuddered

"I will never think the same way about cooking ever again." **(What an amazing line -Corvid)**

"Anyways. Any questions?" Mittens raised her hand "Yes Mittens?"

"When will we open?"

"Next week, probably. Anyone else?"

“I’ve got one!” Enfield blurted “What will we do about the advertisements?”

"We'll.. get to that. Is that all?"

Trashcan raised her hand

"Yes, Trashcan?"

"When are you gonna ask Belos out?"

Depresso freezes right there and then. How in the world did she find out about that?

Well, truth be told, during his discussion, Trashcan may have been talking to Enfield. Getting some information about Depresso's little.. fixation,and to be honest, who wouldn't want to be in the tea?

“The same day Enfield asks out her crush.” He manages to blurt out without looking like a tomato

“Wha- Hey! I don’t have a crush on someone!” She laughed nervously a little red in the face.

‘Why the fuck would he say that?!’ She thought.

"Still,when you do ask him out, where are you gonna take him?"

"Trashcan, we all love you, but shut the FUCK up. Please?"

And that was how the chaos started

**-TO BE CONTINUED-**


	4. Chapter 4: The Chapter where belos appears, and Depresso dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pansexual panicking

**Chapter 4 : Grand Opening (Part 1)**

**(Written by Enfield, Depresso, Corvid)**

* * *

"Hey Eric!" Yelled Enfield. "How’d ya know I had a crush on someone?" 

Depresso just chuckled softly, "Don't think I don't see you glancing at him from time to time, And the fact you keep on annoying him everytime you guys interact." 

Enfield's face is probably red as a tomato right now. "You better not tell him Eric-"

"Only if you stop teasing me about Belos." He offered.

"Alright, fine." 

The day went on as it usually did, The sponsors and the managers bickering, Poppy dealing with Enfield and Depresso’s shenanigans and Corvid using all of his will power not to stab a bitch with Enfield annoying him, and the gay bundle of mess known as Depresso when someone mentioned Belos. 

This went on for days, until it finally came.

**The grand opening.**

"HOOOOLLLLYYYY FUCKKKKKKK" Depresso yelled, running around the tables.

“Depresso CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” Enfield yelled at him.

"NO! YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN! " 

“POPPY! DEPRESSO IS PANICKING AGAIN!”

"I AM NOT PANICKING YOU.. YOU.. KIKIMORA!"

Everyone gasped.

"Oh my god..." Ace muttered.

Poppy just sighed, “Both of you just calm down or I’ll have to put you guys in your timeout corner.” **(You know, this should've gone much longer but we’re too lazy to type the ‘argument’ -Enfield)** **(Shush Enfield -Corvid)**

Both pouted, but eventually did as told.

Then, Depresso approached the door.

"Alright… the grand opening happens in T-minus..ten...nine...eight,"

He slowly reached for the knob.

"Seven.. six… five.."

Twisting it slowly.

"Four.. three… two..one.."

Silence.

"One and a half…" 

"Oh my fucking god JUST OPEN IT ALREADY!" Sansan yelled from the kitchen. 

"But I'm not ready!" 

"ERIC!" Everyone shouted in unison.

"Fine.. fine" 

And so the doors were opened.

**-Time skip brought to you by poppy's human cars-**

Five hours. 

They've been waiting for at least one customer, for five. Hours.

And nothing. 

"Welp!" Sansan suddenly said from wherever he was. "I'm out!" 

"What?" 

"You can't do that!" 

"Son don't leave me here!" Said Corvid.

"Well what do you expect me to do? Look at this place! 30 different tables and not one is occupied!" 

"The library betrayed us, Rordon Gamsey betrayed us." Ýůmî muttered

“It is a very sad betrayal.” Poppy added sarcastically with a grim face.

**_(This actually happened, when we opened hootbucks not many customers came -Eric)_ **

**_(It was sad so us employees were just chatting -Enfield)_ **

“I should’ve brought my sketchbook.” Mii complained.

" Guys… come on! Let's look on the bright side! We have more time to prepare and today ain't over yet! I bet, somebody is going to walk through that door right now as we speak!" 

"Hello?.. Is anyone here?" Someone called from the cash register.

"Holy shit." Depresso muttered. "HOLY SHIT! WE HAVE A CUSTOMER! PENUT GET HIS ORDER!" 

"UM UM OKAY?!" 

Penut then proceeded to run towards the man, who seemed to have a scar on his left eye. 

Wait a minute.

"Ah, hello, are you a barista? I'd like to order something." 

Penut stared at the man, baffled. 

The man had blonde hair expertly swept to the side, he wore a brown jacket on his shoulders and a suit underneath. He also had blue eyes which went very well with his features. 

And Penut finds that all too familiar. 

"UM.. Of course sir! Here is the menu!" 

Penut points to where the menu is hanged and the man hums in acknowledgement. 

"I'll have the bird tea, please." 

"Right a way, sir!" 

And so she entered the kitchen.

* * *

"What did he order?" Sansan asked.

"Bird tea. Also.. Where is Depresso? I think he should see this…" 

Enfield just peeked around the corner to see the customer and she was surprised. “Hey isn’t that Belos?” She questioned.

Meanwhile, Depresso sat in his office. Unsure of what to do, should he help? He doesn't know. He's confused, scared? Maybe. He doesn't know what to expect or how to react, so he just sat in his chair, hoping for the best. 

Then Penut came in.

"Um...Depresso?"

"Yes?"

"You.. Might wanna see who the customer is.. " 

He raises an eyebrow at his sister, but does as told, walking towards the cash register, he's met with a very familiar face. 

A handsome one, at that. 

The man notices him and gapes at him. 

"You…" 

And suddenly Depresso feels self-conscious about the fact he wears a hoodie to work. 

"You're the guy.. from the library, correct?" 

"Yes! Yes! That is me, library gay- guy! And you! You're Belos! And you're in my cafe! Which I own! And work at! With my friends! Holyshityou'reinmycafe." He says, fast enough that Belos is confused but also slow enough that he understands what he just said. ".. I've been talking for too long." 

" O.. Kay.. So you work here?" He asked.

"Yes! I'm.. Actually the manager!" 

"Oh. Cool." 

The two stare at each other, not breaking eye contact, Belos is confused and Depresso is panicking because of how beautiful his eyes were. 

Fuck.

"I'll...I'll get your drink." He lingers for a bit. "Bye!" 

And so he ran into the kitchen.

"What did he order?" 

"Bird tea." 

"... Bird tea?" 

"... Yes. Is something wrong with that?" 

Depresso takes Penut by the shoulders.

"Penut.. We don't have bird tea available yet." 

Everyone's eyes widen.

"WHAT." 

"HOW?" 

"Great, the one time we actually get a customer, they order something we DON'T HAVE!" 

"May I be the first to say, we are fucked." The plague doctor said.

“Haha…. This go brrr” Enfield chuckled nervously trying to cut the tension.

"Not helping Enfield!” “Sorry!” She said.

Depresso frantically looked back from the kitchen to Belos. (And if he may have been staring at Belos for a little longer, nobody said anything.) 

What are they gonna do now? 

_**-TBC-** _

* * *

_**(Hey guys! Sorry for the short chapter, Writer's block is being a bitch -Enfield )** _

_**(Haha same - Corvid)** _

pic of belos and depresso

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rest in piece Depresso Espresso, 1999-2020


	5. Chapter 5: Grand opening Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha look at this belos simp -Corvid

**Chapter 5: Grand Opening pt. 2**

**(Oh, and Scrolls and magic exists)**

**(Writers: Yumi,** **Em** **, And** ** _CORVID THE SCHUYLER SISTERS_** **back by popular demand** **oh, and also Enfield** **)**

“FUCK!” Depresso yelled.

“Alright… Belos is in our cafe, and he just ordered something we **_d o n ‘ t_** have.”

"Well, whose fault is that _? _ " Sansan said.

**“** Uh, POPPY’S!” Eric exclaimed.

"Why me??" Poppy whined, "I'm not the manager here!"

"WHATS UP MFS, GUESS WHO GOT PROMOTED!" Em yelled as she entered.

"THIS BAD BOI!" She pointed two thumbs at herself.

Then  **_‘Rordon Gamsey talks dirty’_ ** started playing from the speaker.

"YUMI,  _ why?" _ Sansan said along with most of the group. ( **Depresso isn't complaining cus he's a simp -** **Em** **)** ( Did you post the joke? No so bow down to me -Corvid )

“Why not?” She asked with a smug grin.

"My brain, my poor brain.” “I’m seeing things I don't want to see help me."  **(this is a great line tbh -Everybody)** "YUMI THERE'S A CHILD HERE!" Poppy said.

“I  **AM** the child!” Yumi said.

"Why are you even playing that if you're a child??" “I don't know, why do you simp for cars?” Yumi shot back.

"Because they're hot." Poppy said.  (Poppy seeds you disturb me -Corvid)

"I'm not complaining with the cars though." Em said as she walked by the two.

“Yeah, not like you.”

**Ooooooohh damn.**

"…… I don't wanna cook anymore, mom please pick me up." Mii said.

"FINE. I'll play something different then." Yumi said begrudgingly. 

She made her wait to the speaker and chose  **_‘Cabinet Battle #1’_ **

Then the whole crew sings along except Enfield  **_(Mood - Yumi)_ ** _ “Enfield you are uncultured.” Corvid said. _

“UM GUYS FOCUS! BELOS IS WAITING!” Depresso shouted.

"Stop dragging your co worker Corvid even though you have a very valid point." Sansan said.

"GUYS I'M SERIOUS! FOCUS!" Depresso yelled at the crew. "YEAH GUYS! FOCUS!" Yumi yelled with a joking tone "Depresso wants to impress his crush~~" 

Depresso's face went red (🔴 **for reference** )

"I know you're very busy, I know your work's important~~ but you just want to impress your crushh~~" Em jokingly sang to Depresso, making Yumi cackle.

**“** Shut up Angel!” Yumi stiffened at the use of his real name. “...I meant Yumi. I’m sorry.” he said as he cleared his throat.

"There's trouble in the air, you can smell it." Em muttered, glancing at the two men. “It’s.. fine.”

"Anyways…" Depresso changed the topic.

“Depresso! We have enough ingredients for the tea! But.. you’re gonna have to distract Belos.”

Depresso stiffened.

“Me? Distracting? Belos? Like..talking to him? And..and his interests? Starting a friendship with him in the process? Turning this to a friends to lovers trope? Slow burn? We kiss in 50K words? Then we get married at 100K? And we have a child named Belos Jr at 200K??”

Everyone raised their eyebrows at him.

“...I mean yes!” "My god, you're a simp." Sansan muttered.

"And that's on gay culture," Em said. "Planning your future even though you haven't even talked to them." She added while shaking her head.

Poppy rubbed her temples in the kitchen and said, "Guys, you’re making Belos wait." 

“Right! Right.”

And with that he walked away.

“He’s dumb.” Yumi blurted out. “I know right?”

“We all know they’ll kiss at 1000 words and it's gonna be a fast burn” Enfield said.

Everyone nodded. "Right, let's get to work!" And so they did

- **Meanwhile** -

Depresso was not having fun.

And he hasn't even talked to the guy yet.

So there he was, hiding behind the wall, staring at Belos, who was looking at his scroll.

"Okay okay, you can do this Depresso, I believe in you" He said as he tried to hype himself up.

"It's not like you're about to talk to someone who you've constantly thought about and imagined a future with right??" 

**_-Cricket noise-_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so short! -Corvid | Edit: Shout out to that one person who saw the placeholder! -Corvid

**Author's Note:**

> So, you wanna meet depresso and the gang? Welcome new customer! https://discord.gg/tfDNhJk


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